It's Not About Me - Diary of a teenager

My life.Myspace.My room. My bed.My dreams. My hopes. My aspirations. My destiny. It's amazing to me how many things in this life I claimed to be my own. I mean, sure, I acknowledge that God is the creator and that everything in heaven and on earth is His, but do I really get it? It wasn't until recently that I could honestly say yes to that question.

You see, I had this issue with control that I'm sure others could relate to. I had a plan for my life. Notice the I. From the age of eight, I just knew that God wanted me to be a famous singer and take over Hollywood for God. I mean, it sounded good. I could do what I want and help enhance the kingdom. My prayers went something like this:

Hey God?It's me, Raven. Sooooo any luck finding me an agent? No? Well, you know this was Your idea.....if You don't want me to do this, Lord, just close all the doors....but if it is You, send me a sign..............ha! I blinked! Thanks God! Good night!

It took me a while to realize that I wasn't really trying to follow God's will for my life. I was trying to follow my own. I figured that since I knew I could sing and I was pretty good at writing songs, this must be what He wanted me to do. But if so, why was I not going anywhere, getting noticed? That was my problem right there. Not only was I trying to do God's job of ruling over my life, I wasn't making it about Him at all. It was about me. I wanted to be seen. I wanted to be noticed. I wanted to do some big thing and be seen for the great Christian that I was.

It wasn't until I started to make it about God, when I started to live out the song by Steven Curtis Chapman "God is God", that I realized the real reason why I tried to run my own life. I didn't trust God. I figured He couldn't possibly come up with a plan for my life that would be half as cool as the one that I did. I was scared to let Him really sit on the throne of my life. And why was I scared? I asked myself. It's in His Word. Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." That plan may be a radical passionate singer for Christ in Hollywood or it may not. It doesn't really matter to me anymore.Why? Because it's His plan, not mine.

So, just to encourage you guys. Where ever you are, whatever you're doing, remember who you live for. Remember who loves you more than you could ever comprehend. Remember who has a plan for you that's so great, you'll wonder why you didn't think of it:) Remember that it's God, creator of the universe, of you and me. Remember that it's His life, not yours, so let Him use it and live through you. Just remember these four little words. It's not about me.

photo by JeremyHall

DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE?

Alrighty parents. Let's try something. Close your eyes. Now, walk in a straight line. Kinda hard, huh? We do this all the time. It doesn't seem as "obvious" as the experiment we just did.

Lately, I have had a lot of moments where the same situation has been occuring. Everywhere I go, the continual theme seems to be about me or someone I know not seeing clearly or not seeing at all; when I use the word see, I'm speaking of perception or understanding. Recently, I have seen many cases with heightened levels of fear, worry, anxiety, anger, and control because the perception was all wrong.

As parents, we have got to understand this concept. We can not be "the blind leading the blind." This generation deserves more than a bunch of blind leaders trying to tell them what to do, when they really aren't sure themselves which road is the right road.

Well, I feel like the Lord is saying, "do you see what I see and do you hear what I hear?" I really can't stress this enough because I have been seeing powers of darkness laying out traps for those who aren't willing to hear what the Spirit of God is saying. We must take our stand and say I will see what you see. We have to lay down what we think, what we need or want, and what we feel, so we can gain prophetic insight for our situations. We must remember that no one on earth knows like God knows. He is our Rock and Refuge. He is sure ground. All other ground is sinking sand.

I recently told my husband that when voices of doubt and fear come to weaken my knees, I'm going to turn the Lord and say, "I believe it because you said it." Fear would love to blind you and keep you in the dark, but God wants you in the Light so you'll see the end of the tunnel and come out on the other side.

Let's agree today that we will turn from our own way, which ultimately brings a snare; and we'll begin to ask Him to show us where we're at and to help us understand where we're going.

Surrender Wins the Battle

Hey people! Up for some real talk? Thought I'd share about some personal stuff. Lately, the Lord has really been dealing with me about more humility and obedience.

See, I'm at this place where I see the beautiful handiwork of God, but at the same time, I see counterfeits of the enemy that are planted in the same field. So if I'm not in a position of surrender and humility, I'll be deceived by one of the counterfeits. Scary, huh?

On top of that, there is a really intense battle...I mean "an all out war" from the devil and his gang waging against us to take everything that God is saying is ours. Our freedom, our prosperity, our redemption, our authority in high places, or our kids. So what are we supposed to do? I say, surrender.

I know you're saying... "did she just say what I think she said?"; well, I did. Surrender is the place of powerlessness and the place of power. I know it sounds strange. You don't have to tell me that: I already got that revelation on my own. The truth of the matter is when we surrender what we know, feel, or want then God gives us what we need to gain the wisdom to overcome.
Surrender is the place of gain. If you lose your life, you will gain it. If you let certain things die, certain things will come alive.

Surrender is also one of the best strategies of battle...whether it's with those you love or with those you "don't quite love". Surrender and transparency always strips the power of your adversary. For instance, if your kids are standing there pointing there finger saying what a horrible parent you are and your response is "you're right and everyday I'm asking God for more wisdom,", what do you think that is going to do to them? Think about it? That would completely mess up their arguement and take down the entire battle.

Now I'm not saying always agree with your adversary. That's not winning the war. That's kissing up to gain some kind of false peace or comfort. What I'm simply saying is surrender to the Lord. He is God. Only He can give us the wisdom and strength we need to avail in our relationships, careers, or spiritual journey through life.

photo by Forgiven